Life, love, & Lily.

one year old.

We made it one year. It's hard to believe it. One year. I no longer have a baby, I have a toddler. She is walking (running, essentially), starting to talk, feeding herself, exploring, learning, and is growing every single day. What a joy the past year has been.

We had a small birthday party this past weekend, surrounded by friends and family that have been there watching her grow over the course of the past 12 months. It was great. Lily had her first cupcake and got lots of wonderful new toys and books, and she painted her first picture.

Now, be prepared to be bombarded with photos, courtesy of my pal, Joel.

  

  

  

Now, on to toddlerhood....!

austin + mckinney falls SP: 12.6.2014

My brother graduated with his Master's degree this past weekend. I took some time off of work to make sure Lily & I would be there to cheer him on as he walked the stage. We headed to San Antonio Friday so we could leave early on Saturday to make the day trip to Austin.

Since it was a fall ceremony, it was small, quick, and very entertaining and informal. It was much more enjoyable than any other graduation I've ever been to that takes fucking forever and is so damn serious. Lily was surprisingly well behaved during the ceremony, aside from making fart noises during a speech.

After the ceremony, Lily & I seized the opportunity to visit McKinney Falls State Park. It is conveniently located right in Austin and actually abutts TPWD headquarters. At one point, we were essentially in the backyard of headquarters during our hike. Onion Creek runs through the park and creates the falls. They are nothing spectacular or massive, but it is still beautiful.

We hiked the Homestead Trail on this trip, which involved jumping over the falls on the rocks. It was... nerve wracking. We made it over fairly easily on the beginning of the hike, but on the way back the gap seemed to have widened magically. It took some coaxing and a helping hand, but after about 10 minutes of planning we finally made it back to the other side. Onlookers literally gave me a round of applause. It was slightly embarassing, but I was just glad to have made it without falling in!

We didn't get many pictures and it was a short visit to the park, but we enjoyed ourselves. Lily played at the playground for a bit before we headed back to San Antonio. 

On an unrelated note, I am doing a Whole 30. I am 10 days in as of today and it's fucking awesome. I recommend it to anyone and everyone, hands down. I'll divulge more details about the results when the 30 days is up. Here is one of my new favorite things: coconut milk & cinnamon coffee. It's fucking superb.

thanksgiving + palmetto SP: 11.29.14

The Thanksgiving holidays were wonderful. I took almost a full week off of work and headed to the new house in San Antonio. It is cozy and cute and centrally located. Pretty much everywhere I went in town was 20 minutes or less. Restaurants are easily accessible, as is HEB. I really like it and I'm looking forward to Lily and I building new memories there.

My break was incredibly active. On Thanksgiving, I ran a 4 mile Turkey Trot that was put on by the San Antonio Roadrunners. I have been running regularly since late July/early August and I've put in the miles that should have made this run pretty easy. What I wasn't expecting.... were the hills. I am used to flat, sea level runs. The hill country has, well, hills. They were kind of brutal but we pushed through. Literally, I pushed that fucking stroller up those fucking hills. We hit our goal of under 44:00 minutes, though! It was our first run as a family and I hope to do more in the future. I'm getting pretty great at juggling a dog and a stroller.

Much food and wine was consumed following the race throughout the day. The meal was delicious and Lily enjoyed her first Thanksgiving, though we were both a bit congested.

That Saturday, we decided to trek to yet another new park for us. We set our sights on Palmetto State Park, though it was a close race between that and Blanco State Park. The recommendations of other park folks swayed our decision, in the end.

The park is located in Gonzales, TX and the drive took us a little over an hour. Not bad at all. It was a warm day and a great one for hiking. We arrived at the park, got our permit, and headed to the trailhead of the Ottine Swamp trail. We connected it with the Mesquite Flats trail, and ended on the San Marcos River trail for a total of a little over 3 miles. The trails were pretty empty and we only passed a small handful of people along the way. It was peaceful and perfect.

     

The park flora is strange. You're in a forested area... and there are fucking palm trees everywhere. Dwarf palmettos, to be exact. It just seems so out of place and odd to see the differing plants in the same area. I suppose that is what makes the park unique, though. I was freaking out, man. But not really.

     

Once we finished the hike, we checked out the old CCC refectory. I used to really not be interested in history much and then when I worked at a CCC park, all of a sudden something clicked. I love seeing the old buildings that still stand 80 years later, that are still being used by park visitors. I think it's pretty awesome.

I love that the leaves are actually changing color in some parts of the state. You'd never know that it was fall on the Gulf Coast.

As we left, we enjoyed the scenic park road and got our last glimpses of the beautiful scenery. We headed home to rest up for our next adventure the following day.

 

guadalupe river SP: 11.11.14

This is going to be a quick post because I have at least two more to write in the next two days!

First off: I have made my 100 Park Challenge to myself (and anyone else who wants to jump on board the crazy train) official. Read about it here and send me your park suggestions, stories of your own adventures, or let's plan a trip together, suckas!

So back when I was in San Antonio for that work conference, I made my way out to Guadalupe River State Park. It was only 45 minutes away from my parent's (now old) house. I have decided that autumn is just the best damn time for adventures. The weather isn't brutally hot or unpleasantly cold (though, this particular day, it was a bit too cold for my preferences), the leaves are changing in many areas of the state, and there are no summer crowds to hassle with. Plus, it's easy for me to get time off in the fall.

Anyways, the park is in Spring Branch, TX, just northeast-ish of Boerne. It was a really easy drive and we made it in what felt like no time. As we pulled up to headquarters, I was chatting with the fellow that was working there and PPO, Ted, poked his head out to say hi! Ted was out in west Texas, as well, and there's like two degrees of separation between he and I (compared to seven between us and Kevin Bacon). We caught up briefly, chatted about our mutual friends, and then I bid them all adieu so we could get our day started.

As I mentioned before, the wonderful weather that we had enjoyed just two days before at Enchanted Rock was long gone and a cold front blew in some cold, windy weather. We didn't let that deter us, though. We bundled up as best we could, I threw Lily on my back, and she, Dottie, and I hit the trails, as we so often have been doing.

We hit the River Overlook trail which, as you can probably guess, overlooks the Guadalupe River. We connected it with the Live Oak trail, which looped back around to the River Overlook trail and brought us back to our car. My best guess is that it was a little over 2 miles. Nothing crazy, but a perfect distance for a cold day. It warmed our bones, but we weren't out long enough to be chilled.   

            

After the hike, we drove down to a different area of the park to get some better pictures of the river and the foliage. It was absolutely beautiful.

So there you have it. Short & sweet. I highly recommend the park. But that's not saying a lot coming from me because I have really yet to find a park that I don't like.

san antonio trip + enchanted rock SNA: 11.9.14

Phwew, I am way overdue for a post. Life always gets in the way of my writing. At least, the writing that I don't get paid to do. Speaking of which, I am ecstatic to report that on my added income, I was able to completely pay off one of my three debts last month! Two more to go! The way things are going with my writing, it'll be sooner rather than later, it seems!

This past week I was essentially on a work-cation. Y'know, like a 'stay-cation', but I was actually there for work & was getting paid. Pretty rad, in my opinion. The Adopt A Beach coordinator conference was held in San Antonio Thursday - Saturday of last week. It was amazing. We were stationed out of the Emily Morgan Hotel, which is centrally located downtown, right next to the Alamo. Downtown San Antonio truly is beautiful. I need to make it a point to go explore there more often when I am in town.

Thursday evening after registration, we were lucky enough to be treated to a private tour of the Alamo. It was Lily's first time to the historic site. I've been to the Alamo many times, but never on a tour, and it made a world of difference. The anecdotes, the stories, the minute details that those walls hold that, to the untrained eye, would be completely missed... I was extremely grateful for the tour and felt a deep connection to the building, one that I had never felt in previous trips. Texas history is quite amazing.

Fun fact: the iconic shape of the top of the building was added after the infamous battle. It was built in the 1840s by the military to accomodate a new, pitched roof on the building.

After our tour, we had a small reception in Alamo Hall. We snacked on some light food, chatted with fellow coordinators, and then Lily was ready for bed so we headed out early. I fully made up for this the following evening....

Friday we had a full day of training. I love meeting people from all over the state, both out in the field and headquarters at the GLO offices in Austin. Everyone was fantastic and I made fast friends with two women from the Galveston area. At the end of the day, we had a dinner reception, and I made the decision to leave Lily at home for this one. Mommy wanted to socialize and stay out talking and, let's be real, mommy wanted to drink wine. And I did. And it was glorious.

It was the second time I've had a 'night out' since Lily has been born. I am still debating if it even counts because it was for work, but I'm going to say it does because ample amounts of red wine were consumed and lots of fun was had. After dinner, Chet Garner, the Daytripper, gave a wonderful presentation. He is an ex-lawyer who decided that his urge to travel was too strong to ignore. Now he has a show on PBS where he travels all around Texas, exploring the amazing scenery, history, culture, and food that we have to offer. His presentation made me want to get up and go all over the state. I'll attribute the subsequent trips that I took while I was in the area to him. Thanks, Chet.

 I cut my shenanigans short around 9PM, though the desire to stay was strong. I knew we'd be back at it early in the morning and I needed my beauty rest. I still felt a bit rough in the morning, which was awful for the mock interviews we did. I managed to pull myself together and kick ass on mine, though. What can I say? Public speaking is my bag, baby. Meow.

Once the conference was over, I was free for a few days until I had to attend an ATV training at Government Canyon State Natural Area. I took full advantage of Sunday's beautiful weather and my time off and headed an hour and a half north to Enchanted Rock State Natural Area. I hadn't been in ages, and I jumped on the chance to add another state park to Lily & I's list.

We woke up early and headed towards Fredericksburg. We arrive around 9:30am and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. The first thing we set off to do was hike the summit trail.

There's really not much of a 'trail' going up the dome. You just kind of... climb. First things first - what is the dome, you ask? Well, it is a giant fucking rock that looks like a basketball was cut in half and plopped down onto the earth. The scientific term is exfoliation dome. I prefer my phrasing. A wise man told me that the rock was important to the Comanche because during the cool summer nights, the rock would lose heat and actually 'moan' like a ghost. I cannot verify the accuracy of that statement, but I thought it was interesting. Anyways, essentially it's this huge dome of granite that was underground at one point (and in fact, most of the rest of the granite in the area still is) but now has been uncovered. It's really beautiful and odd and curious to see. And, naturally, we had to climb it. Climbing the dome of Enchanted Rock is the equivalent of climbing the stairs of a 30-40 story building. It's no joke and it's quite the work out, but it was completely worth hiking my ass up there, even with a baby on my back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The view was spectacular. You can see for miles & miles on top of that rock. It feels magical, somehow. Or rather... it feels... enchanted? I don't know, but I do know that the area is truly beautiful and we had a great time clambering around on the rocks and taking in the fresh air and cool breeze.

Okay, I've written more than I intended to tonight & I am tired and ready to crawl in next to Lily. Stay tuned for part 2: Guadalupe River State Park adventures + details on my new 100 park adventure goal.

PS - I have to share this funny picture of Lily when she passed the fuck out on the hike we took after climbing the dome. Floppy headed baby.

baby for sale.

Oh my god, this week.... it needs to end.

Here was my night, essentially.

1. Get home from work, Lily plays quietly for a little while while I get dinner ready.
2. She eats, spits large chunks of her food out, which Dottie promptly licks up. Okay, she's learning how to share. That's not a bad thing, right?
3. Proceeds to rub her eyes and get fussy so I try to put her to bed.
4. Nope, not happening. My headboard becomes a ladder/jungle gym, as it does more nights than I'd like to admit. Playtime ensues.
5. Bust out the Mei Tei (it's a baby carrier, for anyone that isn't babywearing savvy). Figure this'll do the trick.
6. NOPE. Hair = pulled. OW.
7.  Scarf hides hair. Genius.
8. Finds stray wisps. Baby - 6 Mom - 0.
9.  I give up.

 

She's finally passed out, but my babywearing idea has backfired because now, even though she is asleep, I can't a) lounge on the couch b) shower c) move a fucking muscle.

finally...

I am finally back to pre-pregnancy weight. After nine months of hoping that my pants would fit by the time cooler weather arrived, I am here.  I am happy about this, but at the same time I am annoyed that I felt societal pressure to be here.

With how long it took me to get to this point, and the fact that it takes many women this much time (or longer) to get back here, I have gotten to thinking about how much pressure there is on a woman after giving birth. A lot of lucky women get back to their normal size within weeks of popping their kids out. Great for them! If you're body is capable of that, more power to you. But for me, and for many other women in the world, it was not that easy.

Before I had Lily, I had this idea in my head of how easy it would be to take off the baby weight. "Oh, I'll be breastfeeding - the weight will fall right off!". HAH. If only I had known that I was one of the unlucky few that would not experience the easy, breastfeeding weight loss that many women have. The weight really seemed to want to stick to me.

But why the pressure to be back to normal so quickly? I mean... for fuck's sake it took me nine months to gain my pregnancy weight, why does anyone think it will disappear in a sixth of that time? And why do so many people expect it to? Pregnancy is a very taxing event on a woman's body, we need to be forgiving and allow ourselves time to return to our state of 'normal', whatever that may be.

For me, I couldn't even find the energy to attempt to return to exercise until around 6 months of age. I ran a few times in the very early stages after birth, and it was way too soon and obviously I did not stick with it. I needed time to find my routine and get myself back to feeling somewhat normal. And that is okay. It's okay for a woman to give birth to a child and find herself so wrapped up in her new baby that exercising and focusing on eating well falls by the wayside for a while. It's okay to not have a perfect body within a year of having a child. The expectations placed on women are so unrealistic. Sometimes, even when back to the pre-pregnancy weight, pants still don't fit. Well, guess what? YOUR BODY HAS CHANGED. That is to be expected! You have grown and birthed a human being from your body, you can NOT expect everything to be 100% the same. Your hips may spread, never returning to what they were. Your breasts may never be as perky or as small as they had been. For me, I have a feeling my ass will always now be slightly larger than it had been before, as there are still some pants that fit everywhere EXCEPT my ass. WHATEVER. JUST REMEMBER - YOU. GREW. A. HUMAN. That is worth so much more than any pant size or number on a scale.

It is okay to never get back to where you were. And I think a lot of mothers know this. The problem is that most other people don't seem to understand. But regardless of size, I am just glad to be back to feeling like myself again. I could give a fuck if the number on the scale never reads what it read when I was in high school ever again. I could give a fuck if my boobs are never as perky as they once were. I have a CHILD. A child that I grew and nourished for nine months, birthed, and have been feeding for 9+ months from my body and, of course, that changed my body in numerous ways. But at least now I know that I am making sure that I am the healthiest mom that I can be for my kid by exercising and eating nutritious foods, and that is all that I really give a fuck about.

Moral of the story: Fuck societal standards. In my opinion, all mothers are beautiful. Even if only for the simple fact that they are mothers.

garner SP + lost maples SNA trip: 9.13.14 - 9.14.14

I took a few days off of work to get away for a bit. It was refreshing, rejuvenating, and relaxing. Glorious, indeed. I spent a lot of time hanging out with the family, saw some pals, and enjoyed the overcast, cooler weather that blew in.

Saturday morning, Lily, Dottie, & I headed out to go visit Tara at Garner State Park. The park is only about an hour and fifteen minutes away from my parent’s house, so it’s an easy (and beautiful) drive. I take the back roads the whole way, winding through Bandera, Utopia, and Tarpley – three quaint Texas Hill Country towns. Lily napped as we cruised along.

We arrived at the park before noon and unloaded all of my shit. It’s crazy how much crap I have to travel with now that I have a kid in tow. Traveling light will never again be an option. After sitting around and chatting for a bit, we ventured into Leakey to grab some lunch. Tara treated us to the local Italian place, Vinny's. We shared a Greek salad and ordered some delicious calzones while awkwardly overhearing the conversations of the religious cult/large adoptive family/weird Girl Scout troop (we still haven't determined what they were) at the table next to us. There’s something unsettling about hearing brainwashed 11 year olds talk about how they can’t wait to go to heaven or have babies.

We headed back to the house and proceeded to take a calzone-induced nap. Once we woke up, it was go time! We donned our hiking gear (which for me including donning Lily) and walked to the Crystal Cave trail, which is conveniently located right across the road from the residence.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not long after we started hiking, I was cursing Tara for knowingly getting us into this. The first half of the hike was pretty fucking steep. Like… Davis Mountains steep but it lasted longer than any steep trail in that park. It was hard.  And I don’t get the opportunity to hike as much as I used to so I am out of practice. Plus, with a 20 pound baby strapped to your back, it’s a damn good workout. Luckily, we eventually made it to the cave and stopped to enjoy some views and investigate a bit. After a short rest, we continued up to the top and admired the views of Baldy Peak and the Frio River (which is low as shit right now). Then we cautiously headed back down towards the bottom via the Bridge trail.

Once the hike was over, I was feeling overly ambitious and decided I needed to get a run in. After a quick transfer of Lily over to Tara’s back (I doubt she would enjoy being strapped on me while I ran), Dottie and I headed to the Pecan Grove campgrounds and the Day Use area beside the river. Parks are such beautiful places to run – the scenery is such a nice distraction. Tara walked around with Lucy and Lily while we did a little less than 2.5 miles. I tracked her down in the maze of campsites and we walked back to the house.

For dinner, we cooked up some grass-fed burgers with pineapple and homemade guacamole, and then passed many hours sitting outside by a fire drinking wine, catching each other up on our lives while Lily dozed in Tara’s arms. It was the type of night that a person needs more of.

In the morning, after a breakfast of chorizo tacos, we made the executive decision to venture outside of the park and head to Lost Maples State Natural Area. I had never been and I’ve heard so many good things about it that I jumped on the opportunity to check it out.

It was definitely as beautiful as everyone says, and we weren’t even there when the leaves were changing color. I can only imagine how breathtaking it must be during the fall.

There weren’t many short or easy trails to hike here, so we just decided on the East trail, which was 4.6 miles round trip and labeled “challenging”. The label didn’t scare me, as some folks would consider some of the Davis Mountains trails “challenging”. And truly, the trail wasn’t bad. Except for one stretch. Just like the Crystal Cave trail, it was fucking STEEP. But it was worse than the Crystal Cave trail because this steepness seemed never ending. We stopped and took many a break on the rocks that were pretending to be stairs. I was having flashbacks to climbing the 414 steps in the Campanile in Florence, Italy. I was just pretending to be happy for the pictures, I was dying a little bit on the inside with every step, I promise.

We finally made it to the top, though, and the views were so worth the climb. We were able to see for miles around and look down on some of the ponds that are located on the property. We didn’t spend much time up at the overlook due to the lack of shade and the presence of a young infant, and we made our way down to the ponds. It was slow going, steep, and a bit hazardous, and we stopped halfway through so I could nurse Lily under a tree, but eventually we made it! We let the dogs have a drink and cool off a bit before enjoying the remainder of the flat terrain back to the trailhead.

 

Needless to say, after a wonderful visit full of fresh air and exercise, I was exhausted when I got home and Lily, Dottie, and I fell asleep around 8PM and slept the sleep of three happy, tired gals.

a well spent weekend.

Lily & I had a very productive weekend. Sunday, she was feeling under the weather and had a low-grade fever, which I am going to attribute to her cutting four teeth, even though 'they' say teething doesn't cause fevers. She took about six naps instead of her normal two. Poor kiddo. All of her sleep gave me the chance to get some much needed stuff done around the house, though. I did a ton of laundry, put clothes away, and CLEANED. A lot. It had been three weeks since I had done a really good cleaning. I try to do it every weekend, but I was sick one weekend, then the following weekend I was out of town, so I hadn't had a chance to get it done. I more than made up for it, though.

I also cleared out & sold some stuff. I love being able to make some extra cash while simultaneously clearing my house of all the shit I am not using and definitely don't need. Win-win. I am aiming to get down to a very minimalist life. There's still quite a ways to go but I am making progress. I am stashing away everything that I make from selling shit and it's all going to go towards my debt. As is my income from writing. Still truckin' on towards that mission of being debt free. I am feeling good about. I paid off another debt this month. Three more to go!

In preparation for my trip this week, I wanted to make sure I had time after work tomorrow to pack everything up so I went ahead and prepped all my food for the two days before I head out. Apparently, this week's menu is brought to you by the letter 'C'.

I have the cauliflower going in the oven right now and I'll eat what's leftover tomorrow for dinner. Lunches for this week are chicken, carrots, homemade coleslaw (cabbage is my new obsession), and cucumber. Plus, cantaloupe to snack on. That's a lot of C's!

I have had three ripe bananas in my freezer since the weekend I was sick, just waiting for me to finally get around to making banana bread muffins. Well, it gone done and they are DELICIOUS. Loaded with sugar, of course, so I only had one and I am going to bring the rest to work to share, but I am really pleased with how they turned out and how simple it was. I need to bake more often.

Here's the easy & delicious recipe I used:

Ingredients:

• 3 ripe bananas, mashed
• 1.25 cups of flour
• 1 cup of sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 0.5 tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 8 tbsp butter (YES. ONE WHOLE, GLORIOUS STICK OF BUTTER. Paula Deen style) 
• 1/3 cup of walnuts (I was so sad because I forgot to add mine)

1. Cream together the butter and the sugar.
2. Stir in the mashed bananas and the two eggs.
3. Mix in your salt, baking soda, and flour.
4. Add your nuts (you can accidently forget this step like I did, but I don't recommend it).
5. Mixmixmix.
6. Pour your mixture into a greased muffin tin.
7. Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.
8. ENJOY.

This made 9 muffins for me. I bet I could have squeezed 10 out of it, but I overfilled a couple of the muffin holes. Don't stuff your holes too much, guys.

what is important to you?

Damn, time is just flying by. Each day passes in a blur and before I know it, a day, a week, a month is gone. 

 

Lately, I have been pushed to take stock of the things that I am grateful for. Number one on my list is the health of myself and my family. A coworker of my mom's, who had gotten Lily a gift when she was born, became a grandmother in April. Four months later, the world was turned upside down when they discovered that this beautiful baby boy was sick. He was diagnosed with infant leukemia. I do not know my mom's friend, her son, his wife, or their child, but this news really hit home for me. It brought me to tears. In fact, it has on multiple occasions. Knowing now what it is like to be a parent - a mother - I cannot imagine what they are going through. I am keeping them in my thoughts every single day while simultaneously cherishing each moment that I have with my daughter. It is truly sad that it so often takes tragedy to put things into perspective. I will try to remember every single day how lucky I am to have a healthy, thriving daughter and to have the health of myself, my parents, my brother, and my friends. I will do better. I will be more thankful for the things that are so often taken for granted.

 

I look at my daughter and I am amazed by her, every single day. Even when she is driving me crazy at 9PM, wiggling around in the bed making squeaky noises and refusing to go to sleep, I have to smile. She has taught me more patience than I ever thought I could have, given me more resilience and strength than I knew I had in me, and she has opened my eyes to a love that I never knew existed.

 

I am one lucky bitch. And you know what is awesome? You probably are, too. Look around you, take stock of your life. Are you surrounded by people that love you for who you are and that you love back? Are they healthy? Are you healthy? Are you happy? Chances are, your life is fan-fucking-tastic. So if you've forgotten lately how lucky you are (we are all guilty of this, don't worry), take a step back. Forget about all the miniscule things that seem so important. Take a deep breath in. Now let it out. Soak in the sunshine. Listen to the birds. And be thankful for the gifts that we've got and the beauty that surrounds us.